Future Poltergeist

Is there a city with better detective stories than LA? Only London comes close. We've discovered the trick to getting the kids to fall asleep while reading to them. Read from Kipling. Civil war in Egypt. The beneficiary is the player with the most unit points left in storage. (Civilization board game joke.) Sarah is going away for three days, so it's just me and the kids. I promised her that I would not take the kids to McDonalds more than six times while she's gone. Felix just pointed at the words on his shirt (which reads 'Mama's Boy') and told me that it says 'Dragon-Fire'. Kids are in bed and I'm having a drink. Relia is upset that a children's show is showing tortoises and sea turtles together as if they're both turtles. How dare they! Kids are in bed and day three of single parenting is done. For the record, we only had fast food once. Looking at titles on Netflix and saw one called 'Why Ships Sink'. I asked Relia why she thinks...

Back when I was young, June was a warm month. What is the ratio of Superman origin movies to overall Superman movies? 1 to 2? Saw 'Midnight in Paris'. Why in the world do people keep casting Rachel McAdams? She's no longer believable as a person. If aliens ever show up and need to take some representatives back to their home planet, I'd like to nominate the entire extended Kardashian family. It won't show the human race in the best light, but we'll finally be rid of them. Overheard while potty training continues: Felix: Can someone please put pants on me? Oh, we are indeed living the dream. Felix about cousin Michael, "He's my special friend. I'm going to kiss him right in the face!" Sarah is going to build a wall today. Every time she mentions it, Pink Floyd goes through my head.

(Finally updating from Facebook.) It's snowing and they're testing the sirens in Minneapolis. The despair is palpable. Last year, when we had a very mild winter, I distinctly remember a woman (friend of a friend) who was upset that her poor 2nd grader would 'never see snow again'. I've thought of her often over the last two months. The next time someone utters such an absurdity at a Minnesotan we should be allowed to smack them. I predict that by the year 2025, we will officially change the name of clownfish to 'Nemo-fish'. Relia to me: Oops, I forgot you're a human. That's kind of the slogan of my mornings. Watching some Veggie Tales with the kids for the first time in ever. After a good ten minutes, Felix had an epiphany and realized that Bob is a tomato. Well, we can't say that a baby has never pooped on our Wii balance board anymore. Felix thinks we should do Halloween tomorrow so he can get some more candy. I'm trying to explain to him...