Future Poltergeist

To babies all over the world: If the pacifier makes you happier (or at least calmer), why do you insist on pulling it out of your mouth?

A young man used to be a basketball star in high school. He was fast and nicknamed 'Rabbit'. One night he goes home to his wife, far gone with their second child. He finds her disgusting, or worse, boring. She wants him to go out and pick up their son. When he gets in his car he decides to hit the open road instead. He listens to the radio and heads south. He has had enough of this life and he wants to see the rest of the world. He stops and ponders his map and decides to head back north. (This is where the novel lost me.) He doesn't go home. Instead, he shacks up with a woman he meets. He makes contact with his wife's minister, but no one else from their families. The minister plays it soft, deciding that the couple should make contact on their own time. The time comes when his wife gives birth. They get back together and for a time, everything is good. That fades as Rabbit's selfishness gets the better of him. The consequences are very harsh. Rabbit...

(Note, the picture isn't from Minneapolis. It just illustrates my feelings every morning that I leave a warm house and deal with winter. As God is my witness, my years in this state are numbered.) The windchill this morning was somewhere around -40. Got Relia to daycare without problem. Then stopped on the way into work to get some Coke Zero and a Powerball ticket. Went back out to Pagoda and she wouldn't start. Had the same problem a few weeks back, too. Called the good people of AAA and they came out and jumped the car. They asked me how old the battery is and I had to admit that it's the same one that came with the car, nearly five years ago. How often should you change those things anyway? Long story short, there is some battery shopping in my near future.

We had nice weather over the last few days with highs of 25, 36 and 42. We might have climbed up to one degree today (low of -16). Holy cats, I'm tired of this weather! The daily average high and low for the month? 22 and 4 . Current temp in Honolulu? 75 (but windy) . Meant to mention this in my review of ' Chinatown ', this movie was supposed to be the start of a trilogy. They made another part of the series with 'The Two Jakes'. The third plot was taken for a different film, 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit'. How weird is that? The Twins traded the best pitcher in baseball today to the Mets for four prospects. A lot of people think this points to the inequities in the payroll system but I don't see it. Not that there aren't big problems with the uncapped system but this wasn't a symptom of it. The Twins had a very nice run and now they need to reload. All but the richest teams go through this and now it's their turn. The signings of M...

Not sure which is funnier, this or this , but both are worth watching (warning, bad language). Seriously, what did we do before YouTube?

...again. It's like the FP Gal is dating a supermodel. Fortunately, it's just me this time and not the whole household.

I've just learned that the giraffe at the FP Gal's parent's house is named 'Esophagus'. I think that's wonderful.

While I'm driving home on Friday nights, I listen to the Hugh Hewitt show. They have a movie critic (The Unblinking Eye) on and each (well most) Fridays he gives a top ten list. Each week the list is themed and last night was Top Ten First Video Dates for Men . Not first date, not first movie in a theater but the first one where you sit next to each other on a couch and watch a rental. The subject was a difficult one and he did the best he could. He acknowledged that women are too unique to have some kind of catchall movie list for them. The Eye's suggestion was to have the lady bring the movie while the man cooks. The list? 10. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) 9. When Harry Met Sally (1989) 8. Notting Hill (1999) 7. Far From Heaven (2002) 6. The Philadelphia Story (1940) 5. The African Queen (1951) 4. Some Like It Hot (1959) 3. It Happened One Night (1934) 2. Casablanca (1942) 1. The Notebook (2004) The FP Ga...

Anyone who has the Travel Channel should watch it on Saturday at 2p. They're showing 'Great Cruises: Radiance of the Seas' which will be similar to cruise we'll be taking in August . It looks gorgeous!

Want some humility? Even reading these questions are hard. (And yes, Jodi, I didn't understand one of the questions either.) Impossible-Quiz.com - The Impossible Quiz

I've finally found my dream swimming pool . The thing is so big that it comes with a search party. We may have to plan a trip to Chile... Dear Charmin, we enjoy your product but this commercial disturbs us greatly. Just stop it. Please. Why no pictures of Relia lately? Because I don't know where the cord is to connect the camera to the computer. I'd ask the FP Gal, but I never remember to do so. The combination of my work hours and our general tiredness has wiped out my memory. I am sooooo tired of the cold weather. It seems like we've been below zero at least part of each day for the last month. I don't know what the actual number is, but it's been too many. The weird part? I feel bad for my car. I'd love to take Pagoda somewhere warm for a couple of days so she can just thaw out. If we had the money I think I'd do this some year. It just sounds like a blast. Maybe I'd take Heidi with me. That's all!

Finally, a full night of sleep. And no stomach complaints! This must be what it feels like to be human...

Busy day in the showbiz year and a bit of bad news overshadowed it all. RIP, Heath Ledger . The 2007 Oscar nominees were announced . I haven't seen any of the Best Picture nominees yet. There was a time in the late 90's when I was pretty good about seeing them before the award show. Not so much anymore and I don't know if I should blame that more on age or parenthood. Four of the movies interest me and I would certainly see them if time and money permitted. Both 'No Country for Old Men' and 'There Will Be Blood' were produced by the same guy (and I think shot in the same general area). I've heard gushing reviews of both of them and they look very good. The FP Gal wants to see 'Juno' and I do too. This is the one we're most likely to see in the next few weeks. (This is where I give my annual spiel about separating the comedies and dramas. If it was good enough for the Greeks, it's good enough for us.) 'Atonement' looks...

Without any real sleep. Thursday can't come fast enough.

Jack Nicholson plays a private investigator named Jake Gittes. He is hired to uncover an affair by one L.A.'s water commissioner. He (and his team) follow the rather dull man around to various reservoirs and outtake pipes. Finally he is seen with a young woman and photographed. Scandal erupts and then mystery. The woman who hired him wasn't what she seemed to be. This sets up a complicated plot that hinges on a water conspiracy and a strained father/daughter relationship. Like most hardboiled detective movies, the plot isn't as important as the characterization and the style. Nicholson is very able with the role but it isn't a knockout. Just double checked and he was nominated for Best Actor in this role. Guess the Academy and I will have to disagree here. Faye Dunaway (also nominated) plays a very icy woman who has had a very hard life. She was good but not outstanding. What worked? The story. It unfolds calmly and with great care. Step by step we find out...

In celebration, here's a tribute to one of the greatest Aussie songs ever .

Forgot to post my picks for today but for the record I would have taken the home teams. For those of you scoring at home, that makes three straight weeks that I've been wrong about the Giants. I'll pick them to lose again in two weeks so we'll see what happens. Tonight's game was especially sweet because there is a large number of obnoxious Packer fans at work. They would have been insufferable if they were going to the Super Bowl. Having the game decided by St Bret the Football Sharer was an added bonus. A word on scheduling, if you will. There was no good reason not to start these games at noon and 3:30. Even 12:30 and 4:00 would have been fine. The NFL gives us a fine rhythm of games for the first three months and then screws it up with Thursday games during December. Then comes the playoffs and then screw it up even more. The extra week off before the Super Bowl blows the whole rhythm to hell. NFL, this is an easy thing to fix. Make it so!

Heads up, this post contains lots of vomit. If that bothers you, please skip it. We had ambitious plans for Saturday. Relia was going to go over to Mom's in the morning for some babysitting. I'd go and see a movie (Cloverfield) and then go back and pick her up. That evening we would drop Relia off at the FP Gal's folks for an overnight stay (her first away from Mom!). We would go to my companies holiday party for a night of dining, dancing and winning prizes. The first hiccup started on Friday. Well, hiccup probably doesn't really cover it. Relia decided to throw up a few times. Yes, she was sick with a stomach complaint. By the end of Friday night the FP Gal started feeling bad herself. It didn't hit me until Saturday morning. Despite my queasy stomach, I took our baby over to Mom's place on Saturday. Relia hadn't thrown up since the afternoon before so she was probably ok. Mom was willing to risk it. I dropped her off and went to the movie. W...

Have a great Friday!

Talk amongst yourselves.

Last night the FP Gal compared Relia to Hitler. I think it was because of her repeated hand motions, but it might also have been because of her hunger for the Sudetenland. Just to be clear, she wasn't really comparing our adorable daughter with the second greatest monster in history. The strangest story I've read this year? This one right here . We live in a bizzare world. That building over there on the right? It's called 'Il Duomo' and it's in Florence. Lately it's been popping up all over the place in my world. Some kind of weird synchonicity or something. If I start sculpting it out of mashed potatoes then we know something is up. It's about five weeks until pitchers and catchers report. It can't come soon enough.

I got a strange request at work last week. Skyteam (the lovely people that sent me to Paris), is doing something in connection to the upcoming Olympics. They wanted to set up a 'torch route' using their alliances flights. Basically, they wanted to connect several past Olympic game sites using each of their 11 carriers. At first I thought they wanted to connect all of the past games . I got Excel and made lists of past cities. Then I made lists of Skyteam destinations . Then I started connecting dots. Do you know how tough it is to get air service to find air service to Cortina d'Ampezzo (host of the 1956 winter games)? Not so easy. Then I talked with some people at work today and figured out that they really just wanted 11 different flights, each one using a different carrier and highlighting a different hub/Olympic city. Much easier! Seriously, after all the ground work that I did last night that took me about 20 minutes. I wish I got requests like this more of...

Holds 'greenest' awards ceremony ever! The two-month-old strike by the Writers Guild of America scuttled the big celebrity bash at the 65th annual Globes, which were replaced by a bizarre and speedy news conference to announce recipients, without any winners around to gush their thanks. Still, not everyone is happy about it. "I just hope this whole thing gets cleared up before the Academy Awards, because it would really be a tragedy if a similar fate transpired for them," said Richard Zanuck, producer of "Sweeney Todd," which won the Globe for best musical or comedy. A 'tragedy'. Took the words right out of my mouth. Maybe when the strike is settled, some hot new screenwriter could give us a script illustrating these tragic events when Hollywood celebs had to find some other place to party. Oh the humanity!

After watching 'I Am Legend' this weekend and while looking forward to ' Cloverfield ' (and I am looking forward to it), I started to wonder how many movies have destroyed New York. The reasons why so many directors choose to do it is easy. It's full of recognizable landmarks for destruction. New Yorkers love to see themselves so they'll go to see it. People outside of New York enjoy watching them suffer so we'll go see it. Anyway, I ran across this list (with YouTube clips) of the top ten destructions. Also found an Op-Ed arguing that these movies are good for New York. That might be true, and I don't know when this trend will stop (if ever). I'm guessing that Tokyo is the second most destroyed city, thank you Godzilla. I have no idea what third place would be but if I was guessing, it would be San Francisco.

What would it be like to be the last person on Earth? That's the high concept behind this Will Smith movie and they pull it off very well. The first third of the movie features shots of him driving cars through an otherwise empty city. He and his German shepard hunt deer in Times Square and Central Park. He's not completely alone though. A virus has wiped out most of humanity. A portion of the remnant has been turned into vampire like beasts. During the day he is safe from them, but he has to be very careful at night. Smith has fallen into a daily routine that includes watching all of the movies in a video store alphabetically. He also broadcasts a radio message in case there are other survivors. Smith is very good in this movie. In some ways he reminded me of Tom Hanks in 'Castaway'. The flashbacks show real tenderness as he says goodbye to his family. His interaction with his dog is also superb. I read alot of reviews that criticized the CGI used for the Ot...

On to week two of the playoffs. I got three right last week , only missing the one I thought was the easiest. Again, apologies to the good people of the Tampa Bay area. First up is the Seahawks/Packers game. This is probably causing stress at my sister's place ( cute pic though ). Who do I think will win? If both teams played last week and it was being played at a neutral site, I'd call this a toss up. However, the Packers had a week off and a drunken, boisterous crowd at their backs. I'd pick them if I had money riding on it. I'll cheer for the 'Hawks. Tonight we get Jaguars/Patriots. The line for this game is 13 points. I'll be very surprised if the Patriots win by fewer than three touchdowns. This is probably the most certain game of the weekend. Tomorrow's early game brings the Chargers to Indianapolis. I'll take the Colts, thank you. They're just a better team. The divisional round finale is Giants/Cowboys. I thought the Giants wou...

(Edmund Hillary, RIP)

Our regular Thursday routine is getting a bit dull. Relia and I hang out at home, mostly watching TV and/or sleeping. Today we shook things up a bit. I took her out to the MOA. It went very well. She spent the third floor awake and looking at me. We checked out the fourth floor to see what was still open. Someone should open a ghost town themed restaurant up there because it would fit right in. The smoking ban has really done a number on it. Back to the lower levels. We stopped at the calendar store so I could get another one for my desk. I've found that it takes three (page a day, monthly and annual) to work well. Relia wanted something with kittens, I wanted cheesecake. We settled on 'Italian pictures'. Down to the lower level where we had a scary moment. I stopped at the 'Rosetta Stone' kiosk to price their products. Very reasonably priced (if you're a multi-national corporation). We moved out into the mail aisle and found... my nemesis . I had ...

"Maybe we should have named her 'Danger DeFor'.

Yes, my predictions would have been as bad as anyone else's last night. I've smartened up enough to avoid making any in an attempt to not look as foolish. We'll see how that works out. Ran across an interesting hypothesis over at here that might make the entire 2008 primary schedule impossible to predict: 3. Feiler/Skurnik Effect: What's stunning is the ferocity and speed with which Hillary's fortunes turned around in those final hours. Kf has a theory to explain that! Actually, two theories. The familiar Feiler Faster Thesis holds that voters are comfortable processing information at the vastly increased speed it can come at them. Jerry Skurnik's "Two Electorate" theory holds that voters who don't follow politics are much less informed than they used to be, which causes polls to shift rapidly when they do inform themselves. Put these two together and you've got a vast uninformed pool of voters that only begins to make up its mind until t...

(Via Althouse.) Apparently Kurt Vonnegut had a written formula that he used for writing short stories. His Wikipedia page has the details : Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action. Start as close to the end as possible. Be a sadist . No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia . Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the stor...

We've got a nice thick cloud settled down on us right now. It could hardly be more beautiful! If I was down in Austin I'd go for a walk in it. (This image isn't from our backyard. It's from British Columbia. I just thought it was nice to look at.)

Philip Marlowe chances to meet a drunk guy outside of a bar and gets him home in a fit of sympathy. The two strike up a friendship where Marlowe finds out about his unhappy marriage. A few weeks later the guy shows up one morning. His wife is dead and he needs help getting to Tijuana. Soon after he's found dead. This is how the story begins. A small time PI has trouble believing that a friend of his could have been a murderer. This embroils him in a far reaching web with unexpected connections and unknown dangers. A man who can't stop from knowing the big picture can cause a lot of trouble. I loved this book. The story was interesting as it went in several unexpected directions. But the style was the thing. It's written in first person from Marlowe's viewpoint. He mixes short brutal statements with unexpected poetic insights. I couldn't get Humphrey Bogart's narration out of my head the whole time. This was the first thing of Raymond Chandler's t...

Just one more thing about the crash and then I'll put this maudlin subject away for another year. The accident happened on a Sunday morning. They choppered Rachel out and then loaded me into an ambulance and off to Owatonna. They decided I was swelling up too fast and decided to intubate. I fought them so they had to put me under. I woke up hours later, unable to talk because my mouth was full of tubes. They gave me a notepad and I asked how my passengers were. Second question? Who won the football games? When the FP Gal puts me in a clinic for sports addiction, this will be the story she tells them.

Redskins at Seahawks - I'll go with the Seahawks and probably pretty handily. Jaguars at Steelers - I'll go with Jaguars. Pittsburgh just seemed to peak to early. Giants at Buccaneers - Bucs all the way and this is the easiest one of the weekend. (Yes, I just jinxed Tampa.) Titans at Chargers - Man, I don't trust the Chargers here. Guess I trust the Titans even less.I'd bet the under but pick the Chargers to win.

I wrote about this way back in '05. This is the fifth anniversary and it deserves a mention. For those of you who don't know the story, five years ago today I crashed my car into a couple of trees. The roads were icy and the choice was the ditch or the oncoming minivan. Not a tough decision. Almost killed my new sister-in-law but she made it through, thank God. My brother had it the easiest, though I can't really call that an easy thing for anyone. I was lucky enough to take the impact on less sensitive area, my face. Lucky for me, the doctors at Mayo are top notch and everything was put back together again. I've had people work with me for years that have no idea of my limitations. Well, it's well known that I can't smell things anymore. You can't tell about the vision thing unless you invite me to a 3D party. I used to think about it everyday but don't anymore. Well, this time of year brings it back but otherwise it's not a big deal. Th...

There are some very beautiful passages in this book. After reading it, I wanted to travel to the Caribbean and walk around the colonial area of some port. The book starts in the late 19th century and progresses some fifty years. The characters are brightly drawn and interesting. However, the view of love is almost sickeningly sweet. Overall, I wasn't impressed. The main part of the novel deals with a pair of lovers. A young man glances at a young woman (both fifteen or so) and falls in love. They secretly pass love letters back and forth. When her father finds out he is furious and tries to stop them. They persist. Years later, she finally meets him face to face and he doesn't live up to the unreal expectation that she's built up in her head. She cuts him off and wants him out of her life. He pledges to love her forever. And he does. It takes another fifty years for him to get another chance to pledge his love, but he waits that long. I suppose we should see th...

"Waffles might be tasty but you'll never know!"

Seriously, what day of the week is this? The combination of weekend days and Tuesday holidays has me seriously screwed up. Off again tomorrow and back to work on Friday. I'll be sometime next week before I have this figured out. Space news? There is a 5% chance that Mars is going to be smacked by an asteroid on Jan 30th. The rock is similar to the one that created the crater in Arizona. It seems wrong to cheer for destruction but...that would be cool! The Iowa Caucus is tomorrow night. (That means that the commercials in southern Minnesota should end, deus volent.) For a primer on the incredibly complex rules , go here. Seriously, it'll be nice to have some actual votes cast instead just relying on polls. Radical NFL playoff proposal here (number 2) . I like it. Would have made last weekend's games better. Probably too radical, and really the NFL has no reason to seriously tamper with it's product at this time. That's it!

You can read the novel (bit by bit) over here . Feel free to leave comments over there if you find a passage confusing of if you really like something. Or you can just read along and not say anything if you'd prefer. I love the idea behind this and really hope that the execution works well. I'd love to see NBC take this and run with it. Imagine what a Donald Trump or Mark Cuban would come up with. The results would not be dull, I could guarantee that. It was fun to write and I feel good about it. That's not a bad place to be. Now if someone read it and decided they wanted to publish...