Things I've learned

Here are some things that I've found out since learning that we were having a baby. Some of these may be obvious to everyone else but maybe I'll provide a service for someone.

• There are many contractions before you get to the actual labor. They're irregular and I still don't know what the pain difference is. A few weeks ago when they started I was trying to figure out where the bag is and what traffic would be like. Now I just glance at my watch and tell her to let me know if they seem regular.
• Just when you think a pregnant wife can't get any bigger...she does. It's fascinating in some ways. I now think she's giving birth to a cauldron.
• If we have an emergency C-section, they'll make me go in there with her. Did. Not. Know. That. Your humble correspondent doesn't handle the cutting of surgery well. Can't even watch E.R. or other medical shows.
• People that you see every day have about four questions/comments on pregnancy. This doesn't make for stimulating conversation. I'm trying to figure out alternates for myself when I'm confronted by other pregnant couples. Something like 'Wow, you look like the Hindenberg'. I'll be memorable if nothing else.
• Seriously, right in there while they just cut away. How is that ethical?
• Temperature isn't as important as sleeping difficulty when assessing a woman's discomfort. I'm thinking for the next child we should get a hammock with a hole cut out so that she can sleep on her front and just dangle out. That could be the next big thing in pregnancy fashion.
• 'Pregnancy brain', the phenomenon where a woman's concentration is affected near the end can hit the dad too. All this week I find my mind wandering and suddenly I'm trying to use the car key to get into my computer. Very strange.
• The most important thing I've learned? You just don't understand how much love you can have for someone you've never even met before.