Intellectual Jokes

For a limited audience maybe, but I liked them. Great big list here (via Althouse). Examples:

Q: What is the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?
A: An etymologist would know the difference.

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The Buddhist monk approaches the hot dog vendor and asks: "Make me one with everything"

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I tried this dessert called Death by Chocolate, but it only made me stronger.

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Irishman goes for a job on a building site.
Foreman asks; 'What's the difference between girders and joists?'.
'One wrote Ulysses, the other wrote Faust'.

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So Buddha orders a hot dog from a cart and gives the guy a $20.
There's a confused moment of silence and Buddha asks "where's my change?"
Vendor says: "Ah, change must come from within."

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If you're not part of the solution you're part of the precipitate!

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Steven Wright - The other day I was playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. (look of dismay)

Demetri Martin - When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws. Only catapults.

Galifianakis - At what age do you tell a highway it was adopted? I think seven, because that's about the time he starts to think, "I don't look like Kiwanis."