Pirates of the Caribbean - To the End of the World

Or maybe until the end of time. This movie clock in at about 2:45 but it felt more like 4 hours. Every throwaway scene is lovingly crafted. The movie opens with an endless line of people shuffling off to a gallows and waiting to be hanged. We see several sets of feet dangling and then a child joins them. The child starts singing a piratey song and others begin to join in. The executioner gets a barrel so that the child is tall enough for a rope. It's revealed that he has a coin. This coin sets up a small joke later in the movie. Not only did this scene not do anything for the movie, it took a long time not adding anything.
This is repeated over and over ad nauseum throughout. Long establishing shots with little payoff. The movie looks good but each overly long scene drains a little bit of energy out of the whole thing until you feel sapped just from watching.
But that's not the worst part of it. The worst thing is that they keep Johnny Depp under wraps for far too long. And when they finally get to him they don't do much with him. He made the first two movies. Not to recognize that is artistically criminal. Look, I like Geoffrey Rush a whole lot but I really didn't go to watch three hours of him with overwrought facial makeup.
I'd sum up the plot but it was needlessly complicated and lengthy. If someone has an oppurtunity to double cross someone, they do. That's all you need to know. I don't think that's much of a spoiler because you won't really care enough about what's going on to be spoiled. This movie should have been much better and both the FP Gal and I are kind of grumpy about it. Normally, I'd complain about the lack of writing in Hollywood but I'll lay the blame at the feet of the editors or the director. Or whoever should have been in charge of keeping the director in check. After this movie and Spiderman 3, I'm plain tired of two and a half hour movies that drag.
Positives? The effects are good. Some of the acting is quite good. I liked the idea behind some of the mystical stuff. With some trimming, this could have been a very good movie. Oh, and they had the goddess Calypso looking to headbutt people and use her overwhelming purring for fantastic deeds. (Yes, I miss her.)
Very disappointing.
UPDATE: Yeah, what he said.