Future Poltergeist

Last night was not a good one on the sleeping front. I've had a cold coming on for the last few days and it choose yesterday to erupt. It's one of those head things where I feel stuffed up and stupid/dizzy. Good times! We put Relia to bed about 9p and ourselves about 10p. It was my night and before we turned out the lights the FP Gal said a little prayer that we would get some easy sleep. Sadly that wasn't the case. First time up was about 11p. I tried rocking her and putting her back in her crib. Not popular! There was screaming and howling and under the breath cursing. Relia was unhappy, too. We tried a bottle and that didn't work. Well, she ate a good 6 oz. but it didn't make her sleepy. Finally I brought her downstairs and let her sleep on my chest while I watched TV. About 1230a back to bed. Next time I woke was about 3a, she was crying again and the FP Gal was getting up to help her. We caved and she came to bed with us. Shortly after that it bec...

Found here . Just in case someone you know has a rather large library.

If you're ever going to go on the show, spend some time learning the wives of Henry VIII .

"That's because I'm 10% duck...and 20% cat. The rest is all human. You wouldn't understand."

We eventually got to sleep on Saturday night so don't worry. Last night was a little better and we passed a minor milestone. 'We' meaning the FP Gal and I, not Relia. Now that she's standing up, she has become a bit more difficult to calm back to sleep. It used to be that we were just calming her as she lay there. Now we go into her room and she's standing at the rail of the crib, usually yelling. If you try and lay her down she screams bloody murder. The easiest path is that of least resistance. What we've been doing is bringing her to bed with us. She lays down next to a warm body and a beating heart and she sleeps. Relia is big enough now that she's not really in danger of being crushed and she lays between us so she's not going over the side either. The real problem is that we're training her to only sleep on those terms. (The other problem is that she's becoming a bed hog. All 18 lbs of her.) It's our fault of course, probabl...

And the crying has stopped. Maybe. Let's just say that we've had easier nights of putting her to bed. St Josephs doesn't make a tranquilizer dart, do they?

Woke up this morning with a dusting of snow on the roofs and cars. We were the luck ones as some spots in Minnesota got more than 10 inches of snow. Today is April 26th in case you forgot. I-94 was closed in some spots because of the snow. The snow wasn't all that was going on, today was extremely cold. According to the news we were about 25 degrees colder than usual. Add in some very strong winds and it was pretty ugly. This was a pretty cold winter. Also longer than usual. And it doesn't seem to want to leave. Wonder what the weather was like in Kauai today?

Only five picks left until the Vikes (finally) pick. Both of the QBs that I want are still available. Dare I hope for Brohm? Update: Nope, they took a safety.

As the FP Gal mentioned , today is the first day of the NFL draft. She is so excited that she felt the need to wake up early this morning and write about it. (Relia was so excited that she couldn't help but standing up in her crib at 1a!) I was excited about it until the Vikes traded away most of their first day draft picks for Jared Allen. I'm thrilled about the trade but one (small) negative is that it takes away their drama today. When they had the 17th pick, I was hoping that they'd pick up a QB or a DE. Now that their first pick is in the second round, 47th overall, the emphasis changes. They have some definite needs (QB, WR, DE O-line depth), they can afford to take a best-player-available approach. It wouldn't bother me if they traded up a bit and got Brian Brohm or Chad Henne. Other than that, I probably won't know the names at all. In the end, I'll have to trust that the Vikes have some idea of what they're doing. After last year, I think I...

Monastery of the Caves, Kiev Ukraine

Well, actually it was yesterday but I missed it. This is probably my favorite piece of Shakespeare, Sonnet 130 My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun; Coral is far more red than her lips' red; If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun; If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head. I have seen roses damask'd, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks; And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know That music hath a far more pleasing sound; I grant I never saw a goddess go; My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground: And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare. I've got Sting to thank for leading me to this. It's a beautiful poem that talks about how conventional beauty isn't everything. Or at least the habit of grouping beauty into certain small categories is a bad idea. A universal and timeless lesson.

This would be my nominee right here. The FP Gal disagrees but doesn't know exactly what she'd pick. Anyone else?

Babies don't come with a snooze alarm. If you try and politely explain that you'd like nine more minutes of sleep they don't understand. Believe me. Imagine you're feeding a baby some sweet potatoes. You've got some on a spoon and it's heading towards her mouth. Then she starts to make a sneezy face. Pull the spoon away quickly, trust me. Relia doesn't care to bounce to INXS. She needs a band with a more reliable driving beat. Oingo Boingo works fine for this. So does Adam Ant. One should never underestimate the number of hands that a baby suddenly has when you're trying to change a blowout diaper. I'm convinced that Vishnu was present for some brief time earlier. For five years I've gotten by with sight in just one eye and haven't found a single limitation. Until now. Feeding a baby is kind of tough. She's firmly in that area where my depth perception is ruined and she acts unpredictably. Doesn't mean that I can't d...

Story here . Basically they got a very good defensive end, still in his prime and all they had to give up were three draft picks. I like it a bunch! Patrick Reusse talks about the past 30 years of Viking DEs . In this decade, the combinations that made the most starts at defensive end have been as follows: 2001-Stalin Colinet and Talance Sawyer. 2002-Kenny Mixon and Lance Johnstone. 2003-Kevin Williams (out of position) and Mixon. 2004-Mixon and Kenechi Udeze. 2005-Darrion Scott and Erasmus James. 2006-Scott and Udeze. 2007-Ray Edwards and Udeze. Wow, that's cover-your-eyes awful. Let's hope this works out for the best.

For those who read our harrowing story of last night's events , I thought I'd just let you know that the car is still there. I looked around to find some zombie precautions and found this spot . Anything on cars? 7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike. Gun is to machete as car is to bike. Cars are noisy and consume resources you can't always count on having. They're large and can't maneuver easily through blocked roadways . Most only work well where there are roads. Pack an air pump with your machete and you have permanent transportation. So there you have it. A fun little tip for everyone.

I've probably told this story before I started rooting for the White Sox by accident. I literally picked them out of a newspaper without any idea of who they were or what they represented. I knew they were a Chicago team (which I have a small birth tie to), that they weren't the Cubs (who my brother cheered for) and they played against the Twins (because I'm a little contrarian at heart). Started following their scores in the paper and eventually got to see them on NBC's Game of the Week some Saturday. That was the first time I saw their logos or colors or stadium. Obviously I fell in love. Sometime the next year few years I saw 'Field of Dreams' and found out that my team had thrown a World Series. It hurt. Even though it happened some 70 years earlier, I felt bad that my team had ever done something so disgraceful. (For those of you non-sports fans still reading this post, that is a real live honest peek into a sports fan's mind. Laugh at us if yo...

Today has been beautiful. 70 degrees and sunny. Usually these days are accompanied by gale force winds but we didn't even have those today. It really does feel like winter is behind us. I've known many a year that we still had snow on the ground come May day but that doesn't seem likely. Relia and I went for a walk around the neighborhood today and gave the FP Gal a chance to rearrange the furniture . She needs to do this every few weeks or she goes stir crazy. It was a nice walk but I think our little baby was a little sun-touched by the end of it. She got a good nap afterwards though! Another sure sign of nice weather, the ice cream truck has started going up and down our street once an hour. The crystal clear tones of 'La Cucaracha' are even now floating through our open windows. Who doesn't want to listen to that song more often? The FP Gal won't let me drop spikes for his tires. I'm thinking that paintball shots to the windshield might gi...

More 19th century literature but this one was much more enjoyable to read. It's written in almost allegorical style and it's written for sheer persuasion. President Lincoln referred to it as a cause of the Civil War. It's hard to overstate its importance. The book details a household of slaves. They start with a very good and caring owner who has fallen into debt. To discharge that debt he agrees to sell a pair of slaves, one of which is a young boy. The boy's mother can't bear the thought of being split up so she runs away with him, up north to freedom. Meanwhile the other slave, Uncle Tom, is sold and eventually sold again to Simon Legree. Uncle Tom refuses to whip a fellow slave and is savagely beaten. His faith in God wavers but a deathbed vision renews that faith. This book is an argument and it hammers that argument home. Stowe especially argues that slavery is destroying black families. She argues that slaves are people with their own dignity and de...

This is the second one of the Great Novel list that I've given up on. I gave it a good hundred pages but that's all. I know it's highly regarded but I'm not going to waste any more time untying sentences that average eight clauses. Life is too short. Maybe someday I'll rent the movie and watch the Demi Moore trio.

Ostrow Tumski

I think I've come to hate the people in the Verizon commercials. You know the ones where innocent cell phone people are followed around by 'the network' made up of hundreds of techs and service people. Can't stand them. Ok, ok we get the bit. Move on for petesake. Come up with a new theme. It's been thirty years already (maybe just three). In any case, just stop it.

We really thought that Relia would just skip crawling and move right to walking. The FP Gal put up some video earlier this week of the assisted walking. Her efforts at crawling were obviously frustrating as she just couldn't get the knees to work right. Well today she decided that she wouldn't skip it after all. She's crawling over to my desk right now. The knees are still not quite working right but she's moving forward and with obvious purpose. I shot some video of the very first time but I'll need the FP Gal's help to get it up. Man, this is exciting and scary at the same time.

A couple of days late, but this column from Dave Berry is a classic: If you go to the official Internal Revenue Service site on the Internet ( www.irs.gov ) and start poking around among the thousands and thousands of forms, instructions, bulletins, etc., you would be amazed at the range of deduction options. For example, according to IRS Rev. Proc. 2006-50, certain individuals recognized by the Alaska Eskimo Whaling Commission may deduct up to $10,000 for whaling expenses. Could this deduction apply to you? Think about it! I, personally, have done many things that I later could not remember; being a recognized Eskimo whaler would not be the weirdest of these. So go ahead! Find an empty box on your 1040 form and write ''Harpoons -- $9,990.'' (Don't claim the full $10,000, because that might arouse IRS suspicion.)

The Strib has a good Q&A on the upcoming Delta/Northwest merger. They also have a pretty gloomy story on how this will effect travel this summer. "This summer should be like any summer, unpleasant and ugly. Stay home," said Michael Boyd, an airline analyst based near Denver. It could be worse if the unions at Northwest or other airlines take out frustrations with proposed deals while on the job. The employee reaction is the real wildcard. We saw what happened last summer with unhappy pilots causing delays and cancellations. No telling what this summer will bring. Let's hope that management learned their lesson and delay jerking the unions until after the heavy travel season. There have been two major mergers while I've been an agent. American bought TWA and everything went smoothly with that. The long term effect has been mostly centered on St Louis, TWA's major hub. There is still some direct service out of there but most routes connect through Chi...

Next time we take Relia to the zoo, be careful how we dress her.

So this morning I finally got Relia into regular day clothes. The FP Gal pretty much made certain that this would happen by leaving an outfit out for her. All good except for one thing, somehow the shirt ended up backwards. It looked fine from the front, really. It was only when you turned her around and saw the big Winnie the Pooh that you noticed something wrong. Relia, dear, the sooner you get big enough to help your daddy pick out your clothes, the better. UPDATE: The FP Gal is thinking Gr animals.

That whole thing with AA last week? It was the FAA's fault . Hope the airline doesn't suffer too badly. Speaking of airlines, it looks like hometown NWA is on the way out . Talk about the end of an era. The FP Gal just asked me if we're down to two airlines for the country then. When (if) the merger goes through we'll be down to five big ones (UA, AA, US, DL and CO), six medium ones (WN, FL, AS, F9, YX and B6) and about three dozen small ones. Each size serves it's own purpose and it's anyone's guess what the field will look like in 2018. I'm guessing fewer big ones and more medium. The look of Europe has changed tremendously and here's a good article if that interests you. Bonus points to anyone that can translate all of the airline codes above. There are some that might even be challenging for our resident air traffic controller. Non airline stuff? Guess what Relia went to day care in today. Pajamas! My defense is that I couldn't f...

The FP Gal and I went walking at the MOA this morning. No big surprise there, as we do that most Sunday mornings. I think she felt a little guilty that we never walk outdoors with her but the calendar has really made that difficult for us. As soon as it's warm out we'll fix that. We go walking in our neighborhood most nice evenings in the summer. Tonight I mentioned that in a couple of weeks we'll be able to go walking down at St Anthony Main. That was one of the places that I fell in love with when I first moved up to the Cities thirteen years ago. Thirteen years! That doesn't seem possible, it really doesn't. The math says it is; I moved up here in May of '95. I've lived somewhere in the Cities for all but thirteen months since then (roughly the calendar year of '97). The picture there is from October of '03. I've got a very strong memory of walking down to the bridge during the first heavy snowfall of '95. There were huge flakes...

Haven't said much about baseball yet this season. Decided against any kind of season preview with predictions because, frankly, I have no idea what will happen this year. This White Sox season has questions marks all over the lineup and the pitching rotation. They've looked good so far but certainly not unbeatable. So far they've played ten games. In only two of them have they looked over matched, and in two others they've looked like the much better team. Of course, ten games isn't enough time to really judge anything as five of those have been against one team. The most interesting thing so far is that the two teams that were predicted to run away with the division have started very badly. The Tigers are only 2-9 while the Indians are 4-7 with only two of those wins in the last nine games. The season is a full 162 games long but the way teams start really does tell us something about how the season will go. Teams that are more than three games back at the...

The FP Gal informs me that day clothes don't have feet but pajamas do. Since Relia has (very cute) feet, I can only infer that we have somehow given birth to a pair of pajamas. Sometimes she makes enough noise to sound like a whole herd of pajamas. Right now for instance as she's discussing something with the Slimy Elephant. Anyway, to sum up, pajamas have feet. Got it.

Last night, the FP Gal asked me to make sure that Relia is going to daycare in regular clothes, and not pajamas. She asked if I knew what that meant and I nodded yes, so as not to seem stupid but I really have no clue. If one of my coworkers comes to work in her pajamas, I could probably spot it but baby clothes are a little more arbitrary. When we started this adventure in day care, my first concern was that she had clothes on. Period. Delivering naked babies is frowned on or something. That got upgraded to 'warm enough' clothes when winter started six months ago (and I'm pretty sure that the Minnesota tourism board won't want to lift that sentence from this blog). She goes every other day so at some point I also decided to try and make sure she doesn't wear the same outfit there twice in a row. I think I've accomplished this but I'm not very certain. Now I need to figure out the difference between night and day clothes. Yeah, good luck with that! I ...

Actual picture from our backyard. (Not really.)

Favre: If Pack needed me, 'it would be tempting' Seriously, is he now the least decisive person in the country? Just go away already! Take a cruise and get away from the phone. Alternately, would someone offer him an analyst job somewhere so he can waffle over whether or not he wants to come in to work there and leave the rest of us alone. Hamlet had less trouble making up his mind!

We've got another snowstorm bearing down on us. The forecast says a possibility of 8 inches accumulation. I don't buy it. I'm guessing more like two and all gone by Monday. On the other hand I've decided to give in and embrace our eternal winter. If it lasts a only few more months then we can go out with Relia and make her very first snowman. Maybe even sledding. (Don't worry grandmas, we'll be careful with her.) Besides, I never did get any good icicle pictures this year. So bring it on, King Boreas, bring it on.

When I got into work today, we were already being killed because of AA's canceled flights. Not fun. The passengers were (mostly) reasonable but the hold time to get into AA was ridiculous, usually somewhere around an hour. That's a long time to listen to someone's hold music. I ended the day with a call in (total res time around 55 min) and the agent on the other end was less than incompetent. They might have just pulled her off the street. The worst hold music? For a long wait there is no airline worse than United. I like Gershwin and I like 'Rhapsody in Blue' but there's a limit. Try listening to this over and over for the next hour. You'll want to punch somebody. The best hold music? Air France has some moody atmospheric stuff that I like. Unfortunately they feel the need to break in every 45 seconds or so and tell me that they still care about you. Not so good. Even worse, it's not recorded by some sexy French girl. Here's a tip to ...

We're having an early morning at FP Mansion (due to a shift in my schedule for something this evening). At first it was tough on Relia because she's used to sleeping a little later. Also tough on this guy because I like my morning sleep too. She really wanted to be held, which is nice and sweet but makes it hard to, you know, do anything. I tried putting her in the bouncer and she didn't react well. Then tried her next to her standing toy and that did the trick. Now she's over there smiling at me like she couldn't be happier. Very sweet. Life looks good today. Why yes, I did sleep the whole night through. Why do you ask?

Details and pictures here .

Today we have had a nice drizzly day. Man, I've missed this. It's cool and diffuse out, so very relaxing. With any luck this will wash some of the grit off of the streets and sidewalks. It should also add some green to the lawns. The leaves on the trees aren't out yet but they should explode over the next few weeks. The first shoots of our tulips are starting to poke out. By golly, I think spring just might be here.

Today we went a traveling. We got in the car and drove on down to Austin. There we enjoyed some Godfathers action buffet style. Relia was a huge hit with everyone she met. I know, surprise. We capped the visit with a trip to Target where her grandfather bought her a half dozen new pacifiers. The FP Gal read the label and it suggests that each one should only be used for three months. I can't help but think that that's nonsense. Use them until they disappear. The FP Gal noted that it's kind of a race to see if you can keep one for more than three months anyway. She now has a theory that they simply disappear once the warranty expires. After Austin we were off to Rochester to see my aunt and uncle. It was very nice to see them. Uncle Jerry made steaks, Aunt Janet made potatoes and Relia made noise. Lots of it as her fussy factor is turned up high. That's not really her fault. She's fighting a cold right now with heavy coughing. This means she wakes herse...

(Via Libertas ) Here is a list of the top 100 American movie taglines . The top five: 1. In space no one can hear you scream. Alien (1979) 2. Houston, we have a problem. Apollo 13 (1995) 3. They’re back. Poltergeist II (1986) 4. We are not alone. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) 5. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water. Jaws 2 (1978) An interesting list but what caught my eye was something else. A quick glance and I accidentally matched up some taglines with the wrong movie. I think it actually improves some of them. Here's 11-20, kind of. 11. An epic of miniature proportions. Poltergeist (1982) 12. They’re here. Monsters, Inc. (2001) 13. You won’t believe your eye. An American Werewolf in Paris (1997) 14. Things are about to get a little hairy. There’s Something About Mary (1998) 15. Love is in the hair. Apocalypse Now (197...

Years from now when my grandchildren ask me about life in the 00's, I think I'll point them towards this translation effort . The Ten Commandments in lolcat : 1 Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds: 2 I iz Ceiling Cat An I iz Top Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt lend wit no cheezbrgrs for hard werk at all 3 No can has other ceiling cat!! U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes. 4 If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes. 5 If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur kittens ded An if yur kittenz have kittenz, dey be ded too, for being stupid. 6 If not I wuv u An all ur lotz uf kittenz! 7 U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes, cuz I dun liek it. Srsly. 8 Remembur caturday An keep holy. 9 U werk 6 dais An finish werk, K? 10 Caturday, u no werk. U An all ur peepz go wrship me. And, if yu beez gudd, I maks it so yu can sta...

If anyone out there has a line on a cheap laptop, please let me know. Used is fine, I don't insist on new. Just need something that can support Word and a wireless internet. Any tips are welcome.

The beautiful FP Gal has done some touch up work with her blog and also with mine. I've updated the links to the side. Not only are they updated, but they update themselves (kind of cool). Go ahead and browse. You might enjoy yourself.

Now that it's April and we're past the worst of the winter weather I'd just like to congratulate the major airlines on how they handled the storms of the last few months. The winter of 06-07 was a weekly nightmare with people stranded for days and days at almost every major airport. This time around we had fewer serious disruptions. I think there were two major reasons behind this. Planes aren't flying at such full capacity this year. Whether that is because they've added flights or have fewer overall passengers I don't know but it helps out quite a bit. The second reason is that the airlines have become much more proactive about calling passengers whose flights have been canceled. There is a third reason. Passengers have become much better about finding weather forecasts and avoiding the bad storms. We've regularly had people move flights up a few hours just to make sure they get 'there' and that helps. In any case, this year was much easier...

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For the FP Gal

Relia is standing at every opportunity. She usually starts out sitting and then grabs for a hand. She uses that to balance herself and pulls up to standing. This is how she wants to be. She has been doing this for awhile but her confidence level is growing by leaps and bounds. Tonight she pulled away from me and stood on her own for a few seconds. This was new to me but the FP Gal says she's done it before (the baby, not the mama). I've long heard the phrase that you have to learn to crawl before you learn to walk. I'm not so sure that that'll be true in our case.