Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The 'One Too Far' Technique

I'm working on a bedtime system for nights when Relia is upset about getting changed. Usually she fights taking each article of clothes off and putting each bit of pajamas on. It's quite a struggle and tears and yelling are prominently featured.
The thing is she only fights the last development. If she can get her shirt back on she forgets that she fought hard for her pants. That leads to the 'one too far' thing.
The other night I fought for each bit of clothing off and then on. And then I told her I was taking off her socks. More unhappiness, of course. Then I relented and put the socks back on and she settled down.
I don't feel great about this but it works and it's not terribly harmful, right?

3 comments:

Cellomama said...

Right. Pick your battles. Do what you need to do to get through it. It's good for her to feel she has some control. Have you thought about asking her what she wants to take off first, etc.? Or picking out her PJs? Might help give that control in a different way...

Peder said...

We've done some of the picking out clothes stuff but she changes her mind and fights the other stuff too.

Pat said...

Glad to hear she has a mind of her own.

It is not a big deal if she has the socks on and if it comforts her -- so what. There are going to be bigger fish to fry for you guys in the future. You are only going to wish it were socks that is the issue. Oh!! The joys of parenting. Nobody said it was going to be easy. But it is so worthwhile. Ask any of us who have been through it.