From June 2011

Tonight I booked car service to the Jersey Shore Medical Center. Think they get teased by other medical centers?

There should be a limit to the number of times I have to say something like "Stop putting things on your brother's head!".

When your three year old has free rein to design a Mii, you get, well, one ugly woman.

Relia: You should go see mommy's panties. In the backyard.
Me: (blinks and looks at wife)
Sarah: *Peonies*.
Me: Oooh.

MTV's '16 and Pregnant' has taught me that high school girls should simply stay away from boys who can't wear their hat straight.

 

I've tricked Sarah into watching 'The Third Man'. Haven't told her it's a classic. Shhhh!

 

What I've learned from 'Thomas the Tank Engine': most trains are reckless jerks.

 

Tony Shalhoub will never top his work in 'Galaxy Quest'.

 

There may come a time in a man's life when he realizes that his music library is one or two Wang Chung songs short of optimum. I faced that realization tonight.

 

True fact: if your three year old gets too little sleep (i.e. wakes up three hours too early) and doesn't like supper, she will act just like a drunk at last call.