Tuesday, July 24, 2007

One more class

We had our last baby class last night. (At least the FP Gal hasn't told me about any more.) This was a class all about breastfeeding and some last minute schedule shifting allowed me to attend. I'd been lukewarm (well, lukecold really) about going but she played the 'I'm pregnant' card again. Apparently there is no higher trump.
After we got there she assured me that women would think me sexy for going to this kind of class. I told her that I really wasn't looking to pick up any more women as I was still dealing with the last one. Just then a single man sat down next to her. She didn't seem to find him attractive at all. Minutes later he was joined by another pregnant woman so I'm glad the FP Gal didn't make a pass at him.
We sat there waiting for the class to begin and watched the pregame slide show. It involved cute pictures of babies suckling interspersed with 'fun facts' about breast fed babies. Apparently they have a higher incidence of finding a cure for cancer. Since we've already decided to go that route, I found this encouraging.
On to the class. We learned some good holding techniques. One of them is called a football hold. The instructors didn't stress keeping your body between the baby and the defender to avoid a fumble. Best advice? Take the baby's head and stick it on there. This was followed by a very clinical bit about the science behind breastfeeding. The FP Gal thought it was interesting. I thought it was too clinical.
This was followed by a video where a British lady talks endlessly about how to create a good 'latch' while an obviously hungry baby squirms inches away from a breast. She tells us to 'wind' the baby before switching sides. Now we have to get a British pregnancy book to figure out what she was telling us. The takeaway here was that the mouth angle should be more than 90 degrees so that the baby gets more than the nipple.
Hour two: I enter male menopause.
We start to tackle some of the trouble spots that sometimes pop up during breastfeeding. About 3-4 weeks in a baby often goes to 'cluster-feeding' which (strangely) doesn't involve grapes. There is also the problem of 'engorging' where breasts become so full and firm that strange men proposition your wife. The baby doesn't like that either so they must be 'degorged', a process that (also strangely) involves cabbage leaves.
About this time, the FP Gal hit the wall and we had to leave. We felt good that we'd learned some techniques and reassured that other people have trouble, so we will too. Money well spent, I guess. What I want to know is how did they do this in the dark ages before adult classes?

2 comments:

DD4 said...

Your account of the class is a hoot!

Alfred T. Mahan said...

I think they just sort of had the child; refer to the "Natural Childbirth" series of essays by noted philosopher Mr. W. Cosby.